When love hits you completely by surprise
Love Actually: A Timeless Celebration of Love
"Love Actually," released in 2003, remains a perennial favourite of mine, a film that I make a point to watch every Christmas. This cinematic masterpiece effortlessly captures love in its myriad forms - from the innocence of first love to the enduring bond that transcends death. Through intertwined narratives, the film beautifully showcases long-distance relationships, seemingly impossible love stories, unspoken affections, fraternal love, and the profound connections that create chosen families. It adeptly portrays love that disregards social status, bridges language barriers, and triumphs over every obstacle in its path. "Love Actually" serves as a timeless reminder of the enduring power of love in all its manifestations.
I was born in 1978 and finally, after a lot of disappointments and crazy rollercoasters, I now have all these types of love within the one person. A person that I have been even more lucky to have had the honor of marrying in 2022. The ironic thing is, I had previously experienced this type of love with this same person 26 years ago when we met for the first time. Back then, I was just 19 years old. I had recently just moved to a new country. The UK in fact and I was discovering the world. After working several temporary roles in various local factories, one morning, I started a new temporary job in a particular company. I will never forget our first encounter. Those eyes, that smile…I knew at that instant, that I would marry this man one day.
That day that we met, I was sitting down in the company’s reception area, and in charged Lee. He burst through the front door wearing his suit and his glasses. Our eyes immediately locked onto each other’s, and at the same time, we both smiled. I distinctly remember feeling that I had met him before, probably in another life, but I had that knowing and familiar feeling in that moment. Soon after that we went on our first date, and we couldn’t take our eyes of each other.
I remember those seemingly endless afternoons just looking at each other, making love and talking about absolutely anything for hours and hours. He made me so happy; he completed me. It was LOVE, actually. But, as we all experience at some point in our lives, life can be very cruel and as a result, this was not going to be our moment. After not more than a year, we were forced down differing paths through no fault of our own. But we never said goodbye. I knew somewhere, somehow, that our paths would meet again (I can promise you that the full story is coming soon in the future).
As a young woman, I embarked on a journey to discover life. I travelled the world, immersed myself in different cultures, and experienced living in various countries. I transitioned between different jobs, pursued higher education, and accomplished many of my goals. Along the way, I navigated through failed relationships, yet within me lingered a persistent sense of a crucial element being amiss.
As the years passed, memories of Lee lingered in my mind like a familiar tune playing on repeat. The thought of him, of what could have been, often crept into my thoughts, stirring up emotions long buried. His image, crystal clear in my mind's eye, evoked a mix of nostalgia and longing that I couldn't shake.
I envisioned him, with his captivating eyes and infectious smile, carving out a life for himself - perhaps a family, a successful career, a home filled with warmth and laughter. The idea of him thriving in his own world left me with a bittersweet ache, a pang of regret for what we once shared and what could have been.
Despite the passage of time, the memory of Lee remained etched in my heart, a ghost of the past that refused to fade away. And as I pondered on the possibilities and the what-ifs, a part of me yearned for a chance, a twist of fate to reunite two souls long adrift.
In 2016, my life took a dark turn. My current relationship ended in a way that meant I’d totally lost faith in love and at the same time, my work took me through a very stressful period. I’d reached burnout and had simply had enough. I made what some people thought was a drastic decision and I decided to take a sabbatical from my current profession, leave my country and my current life for a while. I moved to Tanzania and became a safari guide.
After 2 years of traveling through Africa, I started to feel my old self and again found my love for life. I began learning to love myself in a way I had never experienced before. Truth be told, I don't think I truly loved myself before then. I lacked trust in myself and always sought love and attention from others, which I was unable to give myself.
Absolutely, this blog indeed revolves around LOVE. In addition to the profound love shared between individuals, another significant form of love that I have encountered is the love for nature. While I believed I appreciated nature previously, my trip to Africa entirely transformed my perception. My time there nurtured a true love for nature within me. I unearthed this love in the boundless freedom of nature, the affection for fleeting moments, and the adoration for simple pleasures - such as a comforting hot shower after a chilly day in the mountains or a sun-soaked day in the Savannah. I recognised love in the small joys of having electricity for a couple of hours after sunset, or even in the humble delight of an improvised breakfast amidst the Serengeti.
When I came back from Africa, I was not the same person as the one that had left. I will say, I experienced a lot of good, but also, a lot of bad things happened to me whilst I was there, some of which I will share in future posts. But, all things considered, 'I started to love myself for the first time'. This profound statement signifies a transformative journey, one that often involves facing challenges, embracing our vulnerabilities, and ultimately, finding self-acceptance and love. Stay tuned for more insights into this remarkable voyage of self-discovery.
I returned to my previous job with a fresh mind and an open heart. I was back and one thing I knew for sure, I did not want any more second-hand love. I wanted the best seller, my best seller.
In November of 2021, completely out of the blue, faith or universal influence or coincidence gave us another chance. On that day, I was scrolling through YouTube for videos on the Amalfi coast, Italy. After more than an hour of scrolling down through that endless YouTube results, I stopped and clicked on a particular video, and soon into the play of the video, I almost fainted as I listened to the voice of the author. WAS IT HIM? Was it my Lee?
I instantly checked the channel owner and was I astonished when I saw that name. My eyes nearly popped out from my skull. For sure, it was HIM! I wasted no time, grabbed his Instagram link from his bio and I wrote to him. I could say that the rest is history, but the truth is, this moment was the beginning of the rest of my life. As of Christmas 2022, I’m now happily married to my first and only love.
I will leave the second part of this story for a next episode.
Today I wanted to talk about how love can sometimes hit us completely by surprise. And for sure this one did. When I started this blog, I said that with Lee, I had all types of love and I can summaries them as follows:
First sweet love:
He was my first love, the one that was fire and sparks.
The pure love that will never die and goes after death:
I know one thing for sure, he was my first and will be also my last love to the eternity and beyond.
The long-distance love:
For more than a year we had to keep our love travelling up and down from the UK to Spain, but we made it work.
The impossible love:
Nobody thought it would work.
The hidden love:
Back 26 years ago, not a lot of people knew about our relation.
Brotherly love and chosen family love:
He is my best friend and the family I will choose over and over again.
Love despite status:
We are the clear example of ying and yang.
Love across different languages:
Back in 1997 my English was very limited, but we knew we were made for each other.
True forever love that fights all challenges:
Although 26 years apart, we always knew we belonged together. Our first encounter after all those years was unforgettable. View the video on this website (About us) to witness our incredible moment when we met for the first time after all of those years.
I can honestly say, do not lose faith. Love is out there. Love heals in ways we would never imagine. We need love, but not any kind of love. We need that love that gives us peace, but also a bit of war. We need that loves that give us comfort but also that challenges us. We need a love that encourages us. We need a love that respects us and makes us grow. And above all first we need to love ourselves.
Love comes in many forms and colours but:
“If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around”